1. |
Glad That You Ate
05:13
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are you glad that you ate?
you chose the side of hate
you lost the lives of your children
you sent us back to the dust
now we're living with your choice
imprisoned in our homes
how much longer can we stand each other
and what about those who're alone?
I hope you're glad that you ate
delicious fruit that you bit into
you hoped to become a god
you greedy fools it was all untrue
this is just one of the big four
with famine earthquakes and wars
only soldiers don't fear this disease
they have a faster way to die
i find it kind of ironic
it's not just me after all
it turns out that we all have
serious parental issues
you left our most loving father
and chose the ruler who hates us
we know his work will be undone
so why on earth did you do it?
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2. |
Left and Right
06:15
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how can you believe
that left and right
are black and white
and not both the dullest sordid grey
how can you accept
your own side's shameless lies
then expose the other side's
so self righteously?
why do you support those
whose egos are so great
they feel they should dominate
by some natural right?
i can't help thinking
that anyone who longs
to wield such authority
should be sectioned immediately
left and right / black and white
in plain sight / ambition is everything
left and right / black and white
lust for might / the power has twisted them
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3. |
The Reality Is
05:17
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the reality is - my opinion is
the only reality that i accept
it's the buzzword of the moment
while agreement becomes endangered
it is the catchphrase of the hour
when everyone is firmly convinced
that what they feel is the truth
and what they want must be what is right
the reality is, i am always right
and you are only wrong
when you disagree with me
as my opinion is the truth
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4. |
I Grieve
07:30
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I felt so little when we lost you
I wanted to feel a profound loss
We didn't mean enough to each other
I wish we had meant everything
I grieve for all fathers and sons
That never got to know each other
Not as they needed to
It doesn't hurt that I can't see you
It doesn't pain me that you've gone
But it hurts that i don't miss you
That you left no hole in my life.
I saw you doubt that people liked you
i saw you fear the judgement of others
you were not comfortable around people
you felt negative about this life
I weep for the waste of it all
How many times we hurt each other
Without intending to.
I crave what we should have been
A bond much closer than all others
When life threw it's pain at me
I needed you to support me
To shelter me from the taunts of others
To help me believe in me
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5. |
The Problem Is Me
06:28
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some would say i took a lot from you
maybe i needed to take more
and there is such a backlog
of everything you took from me
i'd leap in front of a flying bullet for you
and i love you so intensely
but i cannot refrain, sadly,
from disagreeing hotly
on a dozen minor points
til you can't believe that i care
i can help you with any problem
and listen with real sympathy
and for a while, you'll feel that i care
unless the problem is with me
if the problem that you have is with me
expect irrational argumententation
defensive denial rooted in pain
cutting hurtful refutations
("I'd leap in front of a flying bullet for you" - this a reference to 'what difference does it make' by the smiths).
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6. |
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addicted to introspection
we discuss ourselves for hours
we curse the world and how it never helped us
and explore each aspect of our insanity
the cameraderie among madmen
is not easily understood by normal people
but our (flaws are) <-> (past is) <--> (pain is) so important to us
because (they have / it has) shaped our realities
so many hours discussing teachers
dissecting parents and all the harm
pinning our symptoms onto past events
and all those dangerous thugs at school
often ranting after midnight
every rejection and the pain still felt
every bad dream about our employers
and our first acceptance that we were mad
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7. |
I Do Not Understand
06:10
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if you say things i can't comprehend
i won't converse with you
if i don't understand you, i will ignore you
regardless of how close we ought to be
to the extent that you don't conform
to the demands of society
i will not understand, although i find
those demands hard to meet myself
If what you feel seems to me unseemly
then i will not engage
my disapproving silence will evoke
how disapproved i feel myself
i will not understand
i will not engage
i will not recognise
my feelings in your words
do you feel the same?
do you prefer small groups to large?
even better, stay at home, watch tv
and refuse to talk on this subject
a lack of convention on your part
will make me react conventionally
although i never have been happy
trying to meet those conventions
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8. |
The Subject Of Me
06:25
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If the time ever comes
When I can think a rational thought on the subject of me
Like, I kind of like myself
I'm a pretty good and useful person
Most people quite like to have me around
I'll know that I am healed, at last
The grotesque heights of self exaltation
The merciless lows of self accusation
I'd like to just feel on the level
That I actually quite like myself
my self esteem exists in extremes
excessive self love or self loathing it seems
am I merely tolerated by those closest to me
no one is less balanced on the subject of me
than myself
i catch myself in a thousand egotisms
such great conversation
and i make everybody laugh
such insightful observations
balanced by a thousand self-accusations
so utterly useless
entirely without merit
The most worthless man alive
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Harddisco Rugby, UK
harddisco - not hard disco style music. i have been calling myself harddisco since 1998. harddisco is simply a pun on 'hard
disk', which was my new recording medium back then.
available on www.harddisco.co.uk, with lyrics in full.
... more
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