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Ever More Insular

by Harddisco

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1.
if the truth about yourself makes you weep / and indulge in a week of denial / then slaughter the one who dared to say it / then you're the wrong kind of mad. the worst kind of madness is the kind / when you don't know that you're mad / the worst kind of madness is the kind / when you're entirely unaware of just how crazy you are. if your kids can't speak openly to you/ and you don't listen when they try / and they have to 'manage' the relationship / then you're the wrong kind of mad. if you don't know when you're being embarassing / or when your jokes aren't funny / and you're unaware when you hurt someone / then you're the wrong kind of mad. if you're not aware that you're mad / and resist the very idea / and fire anyone who hints at madness / then you're the maddest of all.
2.
Education 06:09
it can all solved with education / but education can't compete with cool / and you can't educate someone / who thinks they already know it all education, education, education / whenever you mention the ills of the world / it can all be solved with education / you think that you can educate it all away but there's too much out there / that's far more powerful today having the knowledge that taking drugs / can hurt you won't hold you back / when your cool mates call you a coward / and when the girls are laughing at you tell some poor kid who always got / beaten at home and excluded at school / that the heroin is going to kill him / can he resist when his cool is on the line?
3.
when you're unhappy, be careful who you tell it to / sometimes your misery can make them angry / they think you want something that they cannot give / your story of suffering sounds like an accusation misery antipathy - why are you so angry / because i told you how unhappy i am / misery antipathy - whay are you leaving me / because i told you i can't take any more when life so frequently becomes too much to bear / all you are looking for is someone to listen / you're not expecting them to solve everything / no more than half an hour of human compassion maybe a lot of them are only hanging on / if they don't think, they can pretend to be happy / and when you insist that life is hard to bear / you're going somewhere that they would never dare
4.
5.
i walk towards and look away / not wishing to intrude / i move through the crowd with eyes averted / and avoid interaction i can't meet your eyes / because of the barriers erected between us / i can't meet your eyes / because of the distance that's growing between us online i don't have to look at you / i feel safer and relaxed / i trust that you're who you say you are / that you have pure intentions our privileged western nations / are ever more insular / and now we rely on social networks / to bring us closer together
6.
It Was True 06:13
i want to give you this warning / it' s also a plea for mercy / your opinions have power over me / your opinion of me has more power still the most painful and personal insult / you could possibly have given to me / was to convince me that i was capable of / hurting you insensitively / because i feared that it was true a certain high-powered female / please don't question my perfomance / it's hard to breathe or shape my words with you / i can never be a worthwhile man in your eyes it might be had to believe me / when i talk of being overwhelmed so easily / i know i offer resistance / but it affects how i feel so deeply.
7.
i won't think about the news / i won't be anxious about the planet / i won't disbelieve politicians / while i have my material universe if i can manage not to think about anything then i will / if i can manage not to think about anything then i won't i'll push my kids to succeed / i'll do my utmost to be famous / i'll beautify myself / and feel that life is worthwhile forget the dead zones where nothing lives / forget the deserts we caused ourselves / don't think of waste that we bury daily / and fill your minds with entertainment
8.
she likes the attention she receives from men / it makes her feel good about herself / it makes her feel so beautiful and wanted / she likes to imagine what they're thinking about her why does she hate it when you flirt with another girl / because when you flirt, you're thinking about them / she knows what you're thinking about them / you can't deny what you're thinking about them she hates the attention that he gets from girls / it makes her bad about herself / it makes her feel so ugly and unwanted / she hates to imagine what he's thinking about them have you ever felt the pain of jealousy / don't make your loved one suffer that / if you feel you deserve to be admired / by everyone you meet, you're always wrong
9.
Dead Planet 04:26
i'm starting to switch people off / i'm starting to alienate the mob / i'm contaminating the crop / i'm fasting for the people of ... dead planet they're not confiding anything / i'm not lying in anything / i'm not hiding anything (repeat) i'm starting to feel uncivilised / i'm starting to realise / i'm refusing to compromise / i'm starting to open my eyes they walk, but on a path arranged for them / they talk, but say what they're expected to / they live, but only as the world dictates they breathe the air that slowly poisons them / they seek the sutonomy that condemns / they choose the life that so abruptly ends i'm starting to switch people off...

about

vocal album. all new songs written in 2011 and 2012, vocals recorded in 2013 and finally mixed in 2014. i never liked the original mixes, they sounded dull (getting used to new monitor speakers) - remixed in 2020.

this album began with the final track 'dead planet' - a collaboration with my darling nihilist. i received some very lo-fi tape recordings of him playing piano and singing. i chopped up and programmed samples, and arranged the rest of the track.

the rest of the album came because of liking this sound so much. bass guitar, a few keys and synths, real and electronic drum sounds.
very lo tempi and dreamy pianos. no third party loops or samples.

credits

released May 31, 2014

written by harddisco except for track 9, by my darling nihilist and harddisco.

arranged and produced by harddisco.

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all rights reserved

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about

Harddisco Rugby, UK

harddisco - not hard disco style music. i have been calling myself harddisco since 1998. harddisco is simply a pun on 'hard disk', which was my new recording medium back then.

available on www.harddisco.co.uk, with lyrics in full.
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